


Camelot's Guards are Secretly Terrified

by Drag0nst0rm



Series: Even Shadows Have Stories [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7853959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drag0nst0rm/pseuds/Drag0nst0rm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone says that the guards are incompetent. </p>
<p>It's important to remember that everyone assumed Merlin was incompetent too.</p>
<p>It's amazing what you can get away with if everyone assumes you can't do any better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Camelot's Guards are Secretly Terrified

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Merlin.

Idiot. That thrice cursed, murderous idiot!

Which was not, as a rule, what one ought to be thinking about one's king, particularly if said king was a tyrant who took treason like that rather seriously.

In the captain of the guards' defense, however, the king was, in fact, being an idiot. In _Uther's_ defense, for once his idiocy was born of an understandable ignorance of all the facts. The captain uncharitably decided it wasn't much of defense because if Uther had possessed all of the facts, he would have acted like even more of an idiot.

None of which changed the fact that they were all about to die. Probably painfully.

"I ain't doin' it!"

"It's your job to do it! It's what we pay you for!" the captain shouted.

The guard typically tasked with floggings, brandings, and other forms of more physical punishment shook his head stubbornly.

"You don't have a choice!"

The guard's eyes darted around nervously. "Then - Then I quit! I do! I quit. I saw what he did to that gargoyle last year! I ain't gonna explode if I can help it. I'll go make barrels with my brother. Sorry, sir."

The captain glared after the man as he walked off before sighing and admitting that while the guard's reaction had been unfortunate, it could not be said to be unexpected. Flogging a servant was a pleasant task only for the sadistic, and the captain didn't hire sadists. Flogging a friendly servant whom you personally had a lot of respect for and who had gotten his job by saving the prince's life was cruel on all parties involved.

Flogging Merlin Emrys, the man who had single handedly brought down Cornelius Sigan, a dragon, and was suspected to have killed Nimueh . . . That was downright suicidal.

The captain ran a hand through his hair. Worst case scenario, Merlin decided enough was enough, committed regicide, blew up Camelot, and went to join Morgause.

Best case scenario, Merlin decided to commit regicide quietly, escaped the whipping in the confusion, and Prince Arthur could take the crown.

The most likely scenario was that he would have to perform the flogging himself to spare his men, Merlin would give him a tight smile and a line about "duty" later, and the warlock would slide one step closer to giving up on the lot of them and leaving them to their fate the next time a monster or magician showed up.

Around that point, his brain processed the best case scenario enough to realize that it contained regicide, something that as captain of the guard he was employed to prevent.

He dropped his head into his hands.

Maybe if every whip he could find was accidentally and totally destroyed . . . ?

He groaned. Why did the king want Merlin flogged to begin with? Sure, the boy was a bit cheeky, but all things considered, he was downright humble.

He was about to go with the "sudden and totally unpreventable destruction" idea - or maybe he should blame mice, that sounded better - as stupid as it was, simply for lack of a better idea when salvation came.

The warning bells were tolling. A guard ran up to him. "Sir! Something's attacking! It's spewing fire all over the lower town!"

The captain sighed in relief. "The men guarding Merlin know what to do, right?"

"Thomas is a new recruit, sir, but Marcus is an old hat. He'll explain things to the boy."

"Things" being get out of Merlin's way and let him do his job.

"Excellent. I need to go organize the men. Listen, you know that shed across the courtyard? The one where we keep the whips? It occurred to me that it would be a shame if this latest attack ended with it on fire . . . There's some flint on the second shelf, by the way, in case you don't have any on you."

**Author's Note:**

> My personal headcanon for the guards runs something like this: During the height of the Great Purge, when powerful magic users were locked in the dungeons, Camelot's guards learned an important life lesson: If sorcerers want to escape, they're going to escape, whether you stand in their way or not. Trying to stop them will just get you killed. You'll be much better off if you pretend not to see/swallow the sleeping potion/accept the bribe/etc. I mean, hey, the food may be drugged, but at least it's free!
> 
> Thus, after Gaius, they were the first to know about Merlin's magic. Word got around quickly. The guards whose dice went rolling off knew perfectly well it was magic, but they didn't know who was causing it at first (they snuck a look as he went by) and figured it was better to look foolish than get killed. Even after they figured out he wouldn't actually kill them, they still went along with it. It was better than being knocked on the head, and it was kind of fun in a strange way.
> 
> They used to attempt to follow anyone who snuck out of the city at night, but the mortality rate was terrible. When they realized Merlin was taking care of it, they just checked to make sure he was following the latest traitor and stayed out of his way.


End file.
